


The Boy with the Letter

by ghost_in_love



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gay, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, LGBT, M/M, but also stuff that happened, i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 01:11:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20399218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghost_in_love/pseuds/ghost_in_love
Summary: Sometimes you just have to write a letter to have your feelings out there.Baz Pitch does just that, but he doesn't think it will get in the hands of his crush. What else is there to do except fake date?Inspired by To All the Boys I've Loved Before!





	1. The Letter with a Thousand Words

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm super excited for Rainbow's new book to come out, literally next month!! There may be some discontinuities, but I wrote this for 1) just for fun/because 2) I want to get back into writing and 3) I love them and I'm excited.
> 
> Please enjoy and tell me what you think if you're able!

**B A Z**

In second year, I had an inkling that I might just be the tiniest bit interested in boys. Simon Snow in particular. But in fifth year, that’s when I realized my hopeless crush on him.

And because we’re sworn enemies destined to fight and destined to kill one another, I wrote him a love letter. What else is a boy to do? I didn’t send it off. No. Never. Instead, I stuffed it in an old shoe box under my bed, with other random things I’ve poached from Snow. Like, a chewed on pen cap for example. (Don’t ask.) 

I shake my head, trying to rid myself of those memories. I’ve got to concentrate on the game now. It only takes one slight glance up, and I see Snow in the crowd and my concentration is shot again. I shouldn’t be surprised, really, he shows up to most games. He used to be more tenacious back in fifth year, where’d the dedication go? I slightly laugh at the memory. The football smashes against my head, and I hear various people prodding me with questions and shouts of dismay. 

“I’m fine,” I say, and the game reluctantly continues. 

By the time the match is over, my head is throbbing. As I’m walking off the field, Snow approaches me. This is new. 

“So...hey...uh..I wanted to talk to you?”

“Oh Snow, you have such a way with words. ‘Hey, uh,’” I snort.

“Look, I’m really flattered you feel that way, but me and Agatha...we’re just in a weird place right now?”

“What in Crowley’s name are you talking about?” my eyes fall to a letter that’s gripped in his hand. No. It can’t be.

“Like, we’re enemies. No way that would work out,” he explains. 

“Yo! Baz! What’s this I hear about you and Snow?!” Dev shouts, running towards us.

Not even thinking, I screw my eyes shut and smash my lips to Snow’s. I can feel the heat radiate off my face, and I use his shock to try and wrench the letter out of his hands. His grip is stronger than expected, so I give up and live with the embarrassment that he’ll have it until I can get it back. 

And I run. 

**S I M O N **

What the actual fuck? Did Baz just kiss me? And run away? This day really can’t get any weirder. I shudder slightly and make my way back to the mess hall. I can hear Niall and Dev sputtering behind me, but I do my best to ignore them. It’s nearly dinner after all, and I must have at least five scones a meal to curb my craving. 

I make my way over to mine and Penny’s table. It used to be mine and Penny’s _ and _ Agatha, but she’s said she needs space and that it’s ‘not me, it’s her.’ Whatever that means. I know we’ll get back together, we always do.

I follow Penny’s gaze on Agatha. She’s alone in the corner, sneaking glances both Baz’s way and ours. Suddenly, a light bulb goes off on my mind.

“I don’t like that look on your face, Simon Snow,” my best friend smirks. 

“Baz and I should fake date to get Agatha jealous. Then she’ll take me back!” 

“Excuse me, fake date? What would be in it for Baz?” And just like that, I deflate. No dice. “Well what about that letter you found this morning? It’s from him and you can use it against him.”

“Oh Pen! You’re a genius.”  
“However, I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

**B A Z**

It’s when I’m finally back in our dorm room that I start to worry. Will Snow ask me about it? He’ll probably punch me, anathema or not. 

Like always, Snow bursts into the room with a loud bang. He’s panting, like he just ran up the stairs, but there’s a strange glint in his blue eyes when he looks at me.

“Baz!”

“What, Snow? There’s no need to yell,” I cross my arms, staring up at him from my bed.

“We should fake date!”

I instantly choke. “_ What _ did you just say to me?” Maybe I’ll be the one to punch him.

“It’ll make Agatha jealous and want to get back with me, and you’ll also look good because you’re getting closer to the “Chosen One.” It’s foolproof.”

“That’s the only thing that’s in it for me?” Besides being close to Snow, as close as I can get, really. He must have gotten that idea from Bunce and I silently thank her. 

“Well. I also have this,” he says, holding up my letter. It’s a bit crumbled, but I can still make his name out in perfect fifth year cursive. It’s not like I needed more convincing, really, but this is truly the icing on the cake.

“Can I think about it?” I say out loud, even though I want to instantly agree. Snow mumbles a ‘sure’ and goes into the bathroom. “Can I at least have my letter back?” 

“No!” he shouts back, a laugh at the end, “It’s security!”

How embarrassing. Snow and I return to our normal routine and get ready for bed. I can tell he’s asleep, because he’s spread out like a starfish, in the way he always does. The moon caresses his skin and I long to run my fingers over his moles and freckles or card them into his curly hair.

In the morning, I wake up later than usual and find Snow gone. Must have gone to get an early breakfast. I quickly search his drawers for the letter, but to no avail. 

I throw on a jacket and tie my tie before making my own way down to the mess hall. He’s sitting there like usual, hanging onto every word Bunce says.

“Snow,” I say, approaching him.

“Huh?” he says, getting up. Eloquent as ever. 

“Let’s do this.”

He looks around, giving me a small smile. I blink for one second to calm my nerves, and his lips are on mine. I almost melt. Almost. The only thing keeping me from me doing just that, is one hand of his that made purchase on my waist. The other is barely holding my cheek. We break apart, and I’m stunned into gay silence. 

“I’m..I’m going to trig. Have a nice day,” I say quietly, shuffling away. C’mon, Baz, you’re supposed to be that unfazed rock, but what can I say? I’m a disaster. 

“Yeah. See ya.” He smiles a dazzling smile and goes back to his conversation with Bunce.

I find Snow during the beginning of lunch outside and pull him to a secluded table in the courtyard. “So first things first, we need to have a contract so we’re on the same page about the rules,” I say, grabbing a notebook out of a drawer.

Snow scoffs, sitting across from me. “You got rules? You really know how to zap the fun out of a situation.”

“I don’t want you to kiss me any more,” I say, shrugging his complaint off. One, my heart can’t handle it. Two, another part of me can’t handle it. 

“Are you crazy? No one’s gonna believe us if I can’t touch you.”

“I’m sure they will, Snow. After all you followed me around all of fifth year and we’re almost always clashing. I wouldn’t be surprised if people thought we were secretly dating anyway. I also don’t want all of my firsts being fake.” (Even If I’d kill to be kissed by Snow like that again.)

“Okay but you kissed me first.”

“This is non-negotiable.”

“Fine. Then how are people gonna believe us?”

“You can hold my hand.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes,” I snap. “Rule Two, we can’t tell anyone about this.”

“Agreed. It would be too embarrassing, for the both of us,” he sighs. “I, uhm, could...write you notes.”

“What? You’d do that?" 

“I know I’m not good with words, and everyone knows that. They’ll see I’m making an effort. And besides, Aggie was always getting on me for that.”

I try to hide a blush as I write that Snow will write me letters.

“I should say that you have to come to my football games, but we both know you already do that.”

He scoffs. “Then you have to sit with me and Pen at lunch. 

“Fine. You have to go with me to some parties that the families hold.”

“Oh,” Snow gapes, mouth open like a fish. “D..Do you really think we’ll last that long?”

“Contingency, Snow.” I make two long lines at the bottom of the list, and put small X’s by each of them. My signature is long, I use my full name. Snow’s on the other hand looks like chicken scratch and I can barely make out the letters.


	2. Their Stares Melt into Oblivion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh gosh, i can't even with the formatting! since i also post to tumblr of the same name, you have to do whole line skips but on ao3 it just looks messy! i don't know what to do...
> 
> anyway, please enjoy and leave a like/comment if you're able!!

**S I M O N **

I hear the lunch bell toll and stand up, grabbing Baz’s hand. It’s soft in mine, and his fingers are long. 

**B A Z**

Simon Snow’s hand is rough with callouses. I might just die here. 

**S I M O N**

“Ready for gov?” I say, tugging Baz along. 

I feel people’s stares on us, much more than usual now. Instead of us sitting as far away as possible, we sit together, right in the middle of the classroom. 

Penny in front of us coughs and I see her nod her head towards the door. Agatha is standing there, staring at us. I feel Baz rest his head on my shoulder, and I lean towards him too. 

Other than the occasional bump to the side Baz is on, nothing eventful happens. Miss Posslibef drones on, and I jot down next to nothing, except a few words and doodles on a separate page. 

The lecture ends soon enough, and I walk Baz to his next class. He’s being oddly quiet. 

“You alright, love?” I ask, rubbing my thumb on the back of his hand. Baz sputters for a second and then regains composer as if nothing ever happened. “What was that? Am I that bad at the whole romance thing?”

“No, it just caught me by surprise. I’ll see you at dinner then, Snow.”

“Alright,” I nod, and catch up to Penny I see a ways away. “Pen!”

“Hey Si! I can’t believe your plan is actually working. A lotta people came up to me to ask what was going on, actually.” Penny and I slip into an easy rhythm as we walk to physics. 

“Baz has been really quiet, and so I asked him what was up and he, like, choked on his own spit. It was weird.”

“Probably because you’ve never said anything like that to him,” she shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Yeah, maybe.”

“What are you gonna say when Agatha asks?”

“Dunno. That we’re in love now?”

Penny glances backward. “Well, there’s your chance now.” 

“Simon,” Agatha says, prettily as ever. “What’s with you and Baz?”

“Oh...well we’re together now.”

“How? You hate each other.”

“I thought so too, but I mistook love for hatred,” I shrug. Agatha looks at me like she can’t believe what she’s hearing and shakes her head.

“Don’t pull Baz in your mess like you did to me,” she says finally.

“Is that how you feel?”

“Yes. I don’t want him to get hurt because of your recklessness.”

“I’d never let anything happen to him!”

“You let something happen to me,” she sighs, and walks into the classroom.

  
  


By dinner time, at least everyone knows that Baz and I are together. He sits at our table, and I hand him a folded square of paper. “Good job,” I say, “Aggie looks like she’s seething.”

**B A Z**

Something in me is excited to hear Snow tell me that I’m doing a good job. But then a small, evil part of me reminds me that it’s all fake, and I frown at the thought. Snow nudges my side. 

“Everything all right?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t it be?” he shrugs in response, and goes back to devouring his meal. 

I flip Snow’s folded note between my fingers. Knowing him, he probably drew a smiley face on it or something of the nature. I shove it in my pocket and actually look around the dining hall for once. While no one is staring at us any more, I see occasional glances and hear hushed whispers. Wellbelove catches my eye, sitting the farthest away from anyone. She raises a slim brow and stares at me with a look I cannot read. I press my side into Snow’s and I feel him wrap an arm around my waist. 

And of course, I try not to melt. I debate whether telling him to piss off, but I’m too happy to care. 

“You guys are actually quite cute together,” Penny remarks, “I wonder how long this will last, hmm?”

I look at Snow for an answer, but he doesn’t provide one. Instead, he tells Bunce he’s gonna tuck in early and drags me up with him. 

“What’s the deal, Snow, I was going to finish my meal you know.”

“We both know you weren’t going to,” he chuckles. “I didn’t want Agatha to be eyeing up my man’s s’all.”

I nod, like I hear it every day, and our walk back to Mummer’s House is silent. He had let go of my hand a while ago, and I miss the warmth next to my coldness. 

At the room, he falls asleep early. The open window tonight brings a chill to the room. I turn on my side, and I can see Snow’s chest rise and fall with every breath he takes. My mind wanders back to Bunce’s earlier question, and I wonder the same. How long will we last? How long will I, as a gay vampire, last?

It’s a question for another day, I ultimately decide, and fall asleep. 

**S I M O N**

It’s hard to believe that our little facade has been going on for a few months now. 

“I think it’s ought to be time to end this wouldn’t you say, Snow?”

“What? Don’t we still have to go to your family's party?”

“I think Wellbelove is plenty jealous,” I say, not noting if it was for me or him. “Besides, the old families pretty much know now.”

“I think you’re just scared, Baz,” I scoff.

Baz shoves past me. To the catacombs maybe. 

I don’t see him again until dinnertime. This time, however, he’s with Agatha, and I feel a suspicious burn in the pit of my stomach. 

She’s twirling a strand of hair between her thumb and forefinger and looking up at him with those grey-blue doe like eyes. Baz nods, and gives her a smile. I stab a fork into my mashed potatoes and ignore him when he sits down next to me.

“Uh oh, a couple fight already?” Penny chortles.

“No, not really. We just can’t seem to agree on the time we should go to the party the old families are hosting,” he says.

“Yeah I want to be on time, and he wants to be 15 minutes late. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“It’s called being fashionably late, Snow.”

“We can all come together, if it makes you feel better,” Penny says. “Our family was invited for some reason, and my plus one is Agatha. Since I miss one of my best friends and all.”

My eyes widen a bit. “That sounds good. Do you agree, Baz?”

“It’s fine.”


	3. What I Want

**B A Z**

Bunce’s mom decides to shove us all in a van for unknown reasons. She also chooses the seating arrangement for unknown reasons. I’m up at the front with her, Bunce is next to her brother, and Simon is squished in the very back with Wellbelove. I guess Snow got what he wanted in the end.

This is going to be a long ride.

I can see them laughing in the vanity mirror. Snow tries to catch my eye, but I turn to look out the window like a sad girl in a music video with a lot of rain.

As soon as we get there, Snow attacks the buffet table and my aunt pulls me aside.

We’re doing face masks.

“So you guys have been faking this entire time?” Fiona gives me a look.

I just broke Rule Two. Oh well. “You have to promise not to tell.”

“Who would I tell?”

“Father? For example,” I snort.

“Oh you’re right. He could care about that. He didn’t much like the vampire part, did he?”

“He didn’t.”

“I know you’ve had a thing for the Chosen One for a while now. Why can’t you admit it to him? I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“You’ve only just met toda--Have you been spying on us?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it spying. More like, observing carefully.”

“So spying,” I deadpan.

“Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. He likes you. I can tell.”

“OK, how. That doesn’t even make sense.”

“He doesn’t really get you, but he’s having fun trying to figure it out.”

“It doesn’t matter. He’s still so obsessed with his ex girlfriend.”

“Let’s look at the facts, shall we? One, the whole fake relationship thing was his idea. You came up with the no kissing rule, and he’s still writing you love notes three months in. I bet he’s waiting for you in the pool, while you’re in here with your Aunt.” Of course he would go swim at night, the numpty. He’s like a space heater.

“You think he’s waiting for me?”

“Duh. If anyone fell for you and thought his feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated it would be him.”

I raise a brow and casually get up. Fiona snickers, but lets me go anyway.

None of the families are out at this time, but I can vaguely make out a mess of bronze curls in the distance.

He’s getting out of the pool, shaking his hair. The water glistens off his skin and he settles down into the hot tub. I watch him put his arms on the edge and stare up at the stars.

“Snow,” I say, making my way in front of him. He continues to look away from me. “Oh, ignoring me, are we? How mature of you.”

“I’m not the one who ditched his boyfriend to hang out with someone else,” he growls. Isn’t that what you wanted? To be seen together? To prove a point?”

I shug. “Yeah, that was the whole point of this, wasn’t it?”

“I looked like a fool when everyone came up to me.”

“I’m sorry,” I mutter.

“Oh? The great Baz Pitch apologizing?” he smirks slightly.

I look down into his eyes. I can’t make anything out, which is strange, because I can usually read him like an open book.

“You sat with Wellbelove. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I wish Penny’s mom sat us together instead.”

“What?”

“You’re so smart, Baz, but you’re so dumb. I asked your sister what your favorite snacks were, and I brought a blanket for us to cuddle under since I know you’re always cold.”

I pull my jacket off and shrug my slacks off. Hesitantly, which is a first for me, I dip my toes into the water. Next, I lower myself in so my thighs are in.

“You’re getting in...in your boxers?”

I stand in front of Snow, so we’re at mostly eye level. “Hi, Simon.”

“You’re impossible,” he smiles softly, pulling my leg over him.

I’m straddling my crush of seven years.

I’ll die.

He brushes a stand of hair out of my face, and his hands make their way to my waist like they did so many weeks ago. I can feel his hands ghost over my torso.

Simon is the sun, and I’m crashing into him. This kiss is much more messy, much more needy, teeth knocking against each other, hands roaming everywhere. My fingers brush against the nape of his neck and I feel him shiver. Snow pulls away for a second, and his lips are as swollen as mine probably are. However, there’s a bit of blood. I run my tongue along my now sharp teeth.

“That’s new,” is all he says, before attacking my neck.

After trading kisses for a while, he leans his forehead against mine. “We kiss like we are fighting,” he says, with a small laugh.

“Would you want it any other way?” I raise a brow.

“Of course not.”

We walk back to the hotel hand in hand, and we stop too suddenly at my door. (I don’t know why we couldn’t share a room, afterall we share at Watford.) He spins me slightly and wishes me a good night. I lean down and I feel him reach my lips with his.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Snow.”

“What, after all that and you’re still calling me by my last name?”

“Fine. Simon.” He looks at me like a puppy and turns to go into his own room.

I can barely sleep that night. He’s got me all hot and bothered. I could feel his blood coursing through his veins. I drew some, to top it all off. I’m a bit embarrassed, but nothing stops my excitement for the next day.

Unfortunately, Agatha confronts me. “Baz, I just wanted to let you know it’s cool of you to be okay with Simon looking after me too.”

“Excuse me, what?”

“Yeah, he came to my room last night.”

“Is that true, Snow?” I side step out of his arm.

“Yes but--”

“The deal’s off, Snow.”

“Wait! Baz Wait!”

I’m a fool. No way the Chosen One could have actually been mine. I go home for the weekend instead of the dorms. It’s nearing Sunday and I’m dreading going back.

Daphne calls my name and says I have a visitor. Reluctantly, I make my way down the stairs and find Snow in the foyer. He’s covered in mud and out of breath.

“Get out.”

“No,” he says, stubbornly as ever, a pout on his lips. “Hear me out.”

“You have ten seconds.”

“I didn’t go to Aggie’s room that night to do anything other than to tell her it’s over. It’s you. You’re the one that I want, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch.”

“Out,” I say. Snow sighs, and closes the door behind him. Of course the mess doesn’t leave with him, so I spell it clean.

Mordelia tugs on my sleeve. “I want to show you something.”

“What?”

She takes out a familiar looking box. The pieces instantly click together. “You,” I snarl, “You sent that letter out.”

“But look,” she says, opening the lid. Snow’s 20-something letters I’ve received from him are all intact.

“How did you even get these?” I say, taking a small scrap out and unfolding it.

“Aunt Fi helped,” she smiles coyly.

“Of course she did.” I take the letters out, one by one, and read them out loud.

_Baz. You have such beautiful eyes._

_Baz, everyone was impressed by your spell against the dragon, but especially me. We made such a great team that day, didn’t we?_

_It’s funny to me how we can fight so easily but fall into place together just the same._

_Baz, am I gay? Maybe I’m bi...I don’t know._

The last one makes me laugh.

“What more of a reason do you need to know the Chosen One feels at least something for you?”

I take a deep breath and sprint out the door. I hail a taxi and make my way back to Watford.

I can see Simon sitting on a ledge, staring at his Sword of Mages.

And I call out to him, because I’m weak.

He perks up, and catches my eye.

“NO! Don’t jump off! Simon!” It’s too late, and he’s surprisingly landed well.

“Hey,” he says.

“I have something to tell you.”

He walks closer to me. “Okay.”

“I got here without magic.”

“Really? That’s great...congrats…”

“Thanks,” I say, nerves getting the best of me.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Was that all you came back to say? Whatcha got there?” he questions, gesturing to the letter in my hand.

“It’s nothing,” I retort as he makes a grab for it. “You already have one of my letters.” Snow unfolds it and scans over it.

“No, this is something you have give me if you want me to read it.”

“Can you turn around?” I ask. I can’t look at him in his blue blue eyes.

Simon shrugs, but does what I’ve asked.

I take a deep breath. “Simon Snow, the Chosen One, we’ve fought for many years, but it’s only this year that…” I tap him on the shoulder and he spins back around.

“It’s only this year that we haven’t fought, and I quite like that. Simon Snow, I’ve been in love with you since fifth year, and I mean it. Not in the fake way at all. And that’s what I came here to say.”

All the fiber in my being is telling me to run away, but I stand with my head held high.

“Baz, I’m hopelessly in love with you. And I don’t know if that means I’m into boys now, or if I’ve always been like this, but I know I’m into you. And that’s what matters to me,” he gives me a smile that I absolutely must kiss, but he brings me down to his level by my tie instead.

I’m going to die kissing Simon Snow. Alister Crowely, I’m living a charmed life.


End file.
